He's Lucky He's Cute

Rory will be 3 years old on March 3rd.  He's just a little guy - barely able to wear 24 month clothes and still wearing t-shirts that he got when he was an infant.  However, his personality is HUGE.  He is a feisty little guy and at times can be really difficult. 

My kids almost always behave in public and that leads people to believe that my kids behave the same way at home.  Any parent knows that isn't the case and unless my kids know you extremely well, they don't tend to show their true colors. 

The last few days have been especially trying when it comes to Rory.  He's still potty training and although he's doing a pretty good job, when he does have an accident, it's not really an accident.  For example, he peed in his carseat the other day.  I know he could have held it until we got home, but he peed and then laughed as he told me.  He kept saying "That's funny, Mama."  Other times he has stood right in front of me and peed.  Just like Regan in The Exorcist except he doesn't tell me I'm going to die up there and he's not possessed, at least I don't think he is...

We are also cutting out Rory's naps.  I know he still needs a little one everyday and I let him sleep, but I don't actually put him down for a real nap like I used to.  He would easily sleep for 3 hours and then be up for just as many hours that night.  So now I just let him crash wherever he lands and let him sleep for at most, an hour. 

And finally, once Rory turns 3, he no longer is getting his binky.  I won't let him have one during the day at all, but he does still have it at night.  That has probably been the biggest obstacle as of late.  Usually he would get upset about something, go find his binky and his "B" (his blanket) and settle himself down.  Now that he doesn't get binky, he just gets more pissed off. 

All of these things have resulted in a lot of crying, tantrums and screaming in our house.  Some coming from Rory and some coming from me.  Kamryn has been trying to keep Rory in check and I usually don't stop her because she speaks the truth.  It's kind of funny to listen to her say "Rory, if you don't stop crying, I won't let you play with any toys and mommy is going to put you in your room."  She says it in a really sweet, sing-songy voice and he listens to her.

After a few particular frustrating conversations about snacks and when they would be administered, Rory climbed up on my lap and fell asleep.  I love holding sleeping babies.  They are just so peaceful and it was a nice reminder that my Little Buddy is just that...my little buddy.

Sorry for the boob shot - just focus on the cute little boy.

My Art and Some Stories

I have about 5 different projects going on right now.  I get all of these ideas of things I want to do - mostly things I have seen other people do and then I want to try it.  My problem is that I start all of them at once and usually don't have all the supplies to finish them or I have to wait for paint to dry or lately, the weather to cooperate.  It has been HOT and actually humid in San Diego the last couple of days - not ideal for painting something outside.

Yesterday I decided to set my sites on something that I could complete, but I didn't know what it was yet.  I was at Wal-Mart to pick up some coffee filters.  I know what you're thinking, You go all the way to Wal-Mart just for coffee filters?  On this occasion, I did.  I drop Kamryn off at school at 7:55 and there isn't much that is open at that time.  I know Target is open, but I hadn't been to Wal-Mart for awhile and thought I could get some other stuff as well.  As it turns out, Wal-Mart has an awesome craft aisle.  They also sell paint, which means they have paint chips. 

I had pinned some paint chip art a few weeks ago and since then have been chomping at the bit to get my hands on some of the paint chips.  I didn't really know what I wanted to do, but I thought once I had them, I would figure it out.  And figure it out, I did!  I made these....

The best part?  They were 100% free.  The shadow box frames are from IKEA.  They used to be in Kamryn & Rory's nurseries with Ocean Critters in them:

Lucky for me, the little critters just peeled right off.  There was a little glue residue on the mat with the turtle in it, but see those keys in the upper right corner?  The little discount membership cards that are on the ring make for an excellent, but gentle glue scraper.

After freeing up my frames, I punched the flowers out of the paint chips.  I got the punches from Target a long time ago and I think I paid $.50 for them.  I used regular old computer paper for the background.  I bet that makes true artists cringe, but that is an upgrade from what I used for the ocean critters.  For those, I just flipped over the piece of paper that came with the frame!  I then mapped out where all of the little flowers were going to go.

And glued them into place with the mother of all glues...Elmer's.  I erased all the lines, but as you can see above, I put little circles where the flower was to go.  I don't know about you, but I can guarantee that I would have put a drop of glue in a place where I shouldn't and then I would have made a mess trying to get it off. 

And thus, my finished product. 

My brother and husband were 100% unimpressed with my art to which I told them to kindly "F*%^ right off." Kamryn, on the other hand told me they were beautiful and that's all that really matters because they are hanging in her room.

I do believe I also promised a story.  Lately I have had to entice my dear little boy to do things.  If I make it sound exciting, he gets excited and then we can move along on our merry way.  Today I wanted to get the mail without incident.  Here is what went down this morning:
Me:  "Rory, let's go get the mail!  Maybe there is a surprise in there for you!"
Rory:  "Cheese?"
Me:  "Sure Buddy, maybe there'll be some cheese in there for you."
Rory:  "OK Mommy!  Let's go!"
There was no cheese today and Rory was a little disappointed, but that was soon forgotten when he saw a guy with a mustache doing the landscaping.  He's all about mustaches right now so Rory crouched down, even though the man was standing, and looked up at him - his head at a slight tilt and just stared and pointed at this guy's face.  He muttered a low "mustache" - almost like he was in awe.  I just stood there because sometimes it's more fun for me to watch instead of trying to explain what my 2 year old is doing or why.  I let it go on for a few awkward seconds and then told Rory we had to go.  Luckily the guy didn't seem to mind a toddler admiring his lip warmer even if he didn't realize that is what was going on.

Because I'm the Mom

I have a memory from my early childhood of watching home movies at my grandparent's house.  There was one movie of me getting a bath in the sink (I was probably about 6 months old).  I remember being completely horrified that my naked infant body was on film, for all to see.  My grandpa, seeing how upset I was, spliced that part of the film out of the reel, never to be seen again.  I was forever grateful for that, but also now know that there wasn't anything for me to be so upset about.  I'll guess that vast majority of people have some of those same pictures of themselves or their own children, just as I do of mine.

So, with my disclaimer in place, I give you, Rory.

 

We are kind of potty training.  I'm a firm believer in not forcing the potty training and waiting until they are completely ready so Rory is probably about 50% potty trained.  My little guy is what we call vertically challenged and can't reach the toilet when he is standing.  Yes, he used to sit on the toilet, but once he realized that boys stand up to pee, he had to do it.  I normally have a little step stool in the bathroom that he can stand on, but it got moved so this was Rory's solution.  He not only stands on the toilet, but he strikes poses - as seen in the photos above.  It's hilarious and taking these pictures of him are actually benefiting me.  Each time he sees them, he runs off to go pee. 

So in few years when Rory hopefully learns humility, I can at least tell him that I censored the photos and that without the pictures, he may still be wearing diapers.

Who Needs Sleep?

Apparently not Rory.  We are on day 2 of “I need less sleep than anyone else in the family.”  I used to only be able to listen to other parents sigh warily when they talked about their children and their nighttime struggles.  This was a club I wanted nothing to do with and was happy to be excluded.  

Now, it seems, my darling little boy thinks I need to be more socially involved because he has unwillingly signed me up for the dreaded club.  For roughly the last 4 months Rory has been getting up in the middle of the night.  It was hit or miss for awhile, but now it’s gotten to be not only a nightly event, but also happening multiple times a night.  The most frustrating thing about these late night wake up calls is that Rory doesn’t need anything.  He’s 2 ½ years old so the late night feedings have been over for nearly 2 years.  In fact, all I have to do is walk him back to his room and put him back in bed.  I don’t talk to him, cuddle him or do anything special to get him back to sleep.  He does that on his own sometime after I leave.

Last night Rory’s first wake up was at 12:30am.  The second, 1:40am.  The third through about 100 was during the 3:00 hour.  I finally put up a gate so he couldn’t get out of his room, which he knocked down, waking up Kamryn.  Can you imagine my delight when I heard her yell “Mommy!”  Luckily, she loves to sleep and all it took was me telling her that Rory was being naughty and she went right back to bed.

Just when I thought all was well and Rory would sleep until 9:00am, I heard him yelling “Mommy, OUT!” at 5:45am.  I still had the gate up so I told him he needed to go back to bed and sleep for a little while.  Amazingly, he said, “Okay.” And went back to his bed and laid down.  I went back to bed too and 5 minutes later, I hear him crying.  I told him he couldn’t get out of bed, so he didn’t.  Instead, he just laid there and wailed. 

I always prided myself on my sleeping kids.  We were never interested in co-sleeping.  I have yet to hear of a successful co-sleeping story in which the child was transitioned into their own bed at a reasonable age without incident.  I did use the cry-it-out method with Kamryn, which some think is cruel.  And it sucked…for me.  I paced back and forth for 45 minutes while she screamed from her crib.  But, just like they said in all the literature, the next night was 20 min, and then 5 and then a peaceful sleeping baby.  And if you ask Kamryn how traumatized she is from that, she’ll ask you what “traumatized” means.  Rory somehow learned how to sleep through the night on his own and now, seems to have forgotten.

I’m not looking forward to sleep training a 2 year old, but rest assured, (pun intended) the boy will sleep.  One thing I do not waiver on is sleep.  My bed is not your bed and neither of our wake up times should be before 7:00am.

Or course I'm posting a picture of him in his sister's pink sweatshirt.  That's payback for waking me up

Schadenfreude

This is my favorite word. Pronounced, [ shaad'n fròydə ], it is defined as enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. Believe it or not, this is the kindest definition I could find. There were a lot of other definitions that included words like malicious, smug and gloating, but I felt those to be a bit harsh.

I have a habit of laughing at something on impulse before I know exactly what is going on. For example, sometimes when people fall, it looks really funny. I’m not talking about a little humorous, but a really hilarious tumble. What I find funny is the actual fall. I’m not laughing at the pain that person may be in, the embarrassment they probably feel or the humiliation of trying to regain their composure. It’s just that complete out of control look of a person that gets to me. It may be why it always puts a smile on my face when I see Woody from the Toy Story movies run. His limbs are all crazy and seemingly uncontrollable, but his head and body are fairly stationary. It's unnatural and subsequently, I find it funny.

My schadenfreude sickness does not discriminate. Nor race, nor sex, nor age will save you from my laughter. Case in point, please enjoy the following:

That is my son. My flesh and blood. He face planted himself right into the sand and all you hear from me is laughter. Was I concerned that he was hurt? Sure, but I couldn't help myself. It just comes out of me! And for the record, Rory was fine. He didn't even cry. Having tough kids only encourages me to laugh first and ask questions later.

Another frequent victim of my inappropriateness is my husband. He's going to be mad about this, but he trips on occasion. The house we used to live in had a lot of steps and every once and awhile, I would hear a loud thump, some scrambling and then a continuation up the stairs. I usually didn't get to witness these stumbles, but the sound alone was enough to send me into some uncontrollable hysterics. I also laugh when he steps on the kids' toys. He is somewhat dramatic when it comes to hurting himself. A little too much Peter Griffin, if you know what I mean.

Now, I'm not saying I'm the most graceful, far from it. In fact, I have fallen, tripped and injured myself more times than I care to admit, but I try to laugh at myself or at the very least, blame someone else for tripping me. The fact of the matter is, I try to find humor as often as I can and unfortunately, it may come in the form of your misfortune. I guess you can take this as a warning and maybe you can also look at it as a preemptive apology because as hard as I have tried to contain my gut reactions, it just seems to be getting worse. Shows like Tosh.0 and my new favorite, An Idiot Abroad, only fuel the schadenfreude flame. I can at least say that I'm not profiting from it.